13 Reasons Why
by Blondie B. Happy
Summary: "It is the end. There is to be no more of me. I have no reason to live. Even the voices in my head are constant reminders that I am nothing." One-Shot, AU, Rated T.


**Disclaimer: Rick Riordan owns characters. Jay Asher owns the title. I own the story. Sorry for possible typos. Review!**

* * *

It was the end.

.

There was to be no more of me.

. .

I was going down the rabbit hole.

.

And I wasn't coming back.

. .

I was jumping off the building.

.

But the parachute did not want to open up.

. .

I was drowning in a pool of tears.

.

Yet there was no lifeguard to swim me ashore.

. .

I couldn't take it anymore. The deaths of my friends were haunting me every night. When my eyes closed, I only saw their faces, staring down at me and asking me why I hadn't done anything to save them. I had tried; I had tried so, so hard to save them all, but it hadn't worked. They even talked to me sometimes, and they made my life a harsh reality.

The rational part of me begged to understand that it wasn't my fault, but the majority of my thoughts were under the impression that it was me. If I left, those I loved would be left alone. They would be safe and well and most importantly, alive. But things wouldn't end so good for me. I would be broken and shattered and probably dead. But it was for the greater good.

I stood beside the bathtub and filled it to the brim. It almost dripped over the top and onto the cold tile floor. I put one foot inside the tub. It was scorching, and I almost pulled my foot out.

. .

The faces. The voices. They're here. They're everywhere.

They never go away.

Never.

. .

Before I could back down, I submerged. The fire was in the water. I'd always thought of the two as opposites, but they were actually fairly alike. With my first foot went the other, and my whole body followed after that. The pain hurt so much. I couldn't stand it. I stood up and my skin was a deep pink. What was I doing? I started to get out—

. .

What about us, Annabeth?

Think of our pain, and we endure it.

You've sinned, and for that you will be punished.

. .

I sat on an old creaky swing outside and let the wind blow through tangled hair. It rocked back and forth, back and forth. The wind chilled me to the bone and I coughed loudly. No one was near me to hear. No one ever came near me anymore. I was a total loser and a loaner. Many people told me that often, and if you hear something a lot, I suppose you start to believe it.

What was there to live for anymore?

I swayed some more and it got colder. My jacket was too thin, but I was pretty sure that nothing could warm me anymore. I would stay cold and small and terrified forever.

I was useless. I was insignificant.

I was a person made without the proper pieces. I was a human being gone wrong.

. .

You, Annabeth Chase, have no reason to stay alive.

Join us, because you can only fit in here.

Where else are you welcome?

. .

In my backyard, I knelt in the grass. Tears trickled down my face and onto my clothes. A single tear fell onto the hard soil and made the slightest of indents. A glass of water was next to me. The sky was getting ready to open up and pour all over me. I could almost taste the rain in the air. Somehow, it made what I was doing all the worse.

I was really going to do this.

The dead flowers surrounded me and I fell onto my back. The sky was so… dark. Like my thoughts.

In one hand, I held a clump of dirt, to which I through on the ground. Those were my hopes and dreams, disappearing and blending in with a stomp of my foot. But in the other hand were pills. So many pills that I didn't know the names to them all. They were going to blend together soon enough. They all had one purpose. They all meant one thing.

. .

You are nothing.

. .

Footsteps sounded. I made a fist around the deathline.

Percy Jackson, my boyfriend, materialized in front of me. He looked like he was getting ready to cry. There was a piece of notebook paper in his hand. He knelt down and cupped my face. I was crying hard now. The glass of water had spilt all over the ground and the wilted flowers.

"What are you doing?" he asked me softly. But he knew. I couldn't speak. My voice didn't work anymore. "Annabeth, you can't do this." His arms went around me and he crushed me to him. His face was in my tangled hair. "Please don't leave me. You are more than this."

I looked at him, and I shook my head. He didn't see things the way I saw them. But he still knew. "Those people, Annabeth... They died for a cause. They died so that you could live another day, not just throw your life away. It isn't your fault. You must know that."

My head hurt. The voices would never stop.

"You can't die Annabeth. Please. Your more than that."

. .

_Give me one good reason._

. .

I breathed those words. And his hands brushed my waist, so delicately. "I can think of more than one."

I shook my head again. The voices in my head were getting louder, trying to tell me that I didn't have much time left and that I was going to go to Hell for the sins I had made. Percy looked like he was about to fall apart but was only holding himself together for my sake. If he unraveled too, that would be the end of me. I would be done. Like the voices always reminded me, I would be _nothing. _

And so he began.

. .

1

You have something to live for. You have a bright new day to live for. The sun will shine tomorrow, and if you left now, you wouldn't be able to see it. The world would be colder without you. The clouds will gather. You are the ray that parts the seas.

. .

2

You have a bright life ahead of you. You are insanely smart, whether you think so or not. Everything can change in an instant, and it's up to you to make that happen. It's your choice whether or not you will take hold of all of these chances.

.

3

You have friends to live for. Think of your friends. Where would they be without you? They need you Annabeth, just as much as you need them. Don't let them see your dead body all alone. That will ruin them. They've been with you every step of the way, and they can heal with you.

. .

4

You have a living family. Your mom would be distraught. Your dad… how would he be able to live through that? He needs you. You are his flesh and bone. You are a part of him, and he is a part of you. You die, and he dies too.

.

5

You have a job. You have a job that many would die for. You make a great income. No one would be able to replace you at your job. All of that architecture would go to waste. It would be ignored. It would remained unfinished and broken.

. .

6

You have a home. You have a home that is a house, but you also have a home with us. This home will turn into nothing and be sold to a new person, and you will be forgotten and left to the history books, just in words to collect dust.

.

7

You have a life. Think of the people who have died and wish for this life that you are going to throw away. Think of the millions of unborn that want this life that you have. You need to keep it and lock it away with a key. Keep it forever and ever until there is no time left for you to keep it. It will be worth it in the end Annabeth.

. .

8

You are beautiful. You are gorgeous, inside and out. You have the purest heart of any person. With you gone, the beautiful light that you give off will die. It will dull into nothing and fade into cold snow.

.

9

You are special. I've never met anyone like you before. You try to tell yourself that you are not, but you are. Even your brothers and sisters are not like you. Because…

. .

10

You are you. No one can be you. No one can take away you but yourself. You are unique. No one is like you. You are you, and you will always be you. But if you leave, who will become you?

.

11

You have me. Have you thought about me yet? I am still here. I wouldn't be able to carry on without you. I need you. I can help you Annabeth. Please don't go.

. .

12

You will be missed. You will be missed by more than you can imagine. People you don't even know will mourn over your death. You see me? I will mourn. I will miss you. Without you, there will be nothing for me to live for. We will miss you so much.

.

13

You are loved. Annabeth, listen to me carefully. You are loved by many. You were loved and still are loved by those who have died. They wouldn't want this to happen to you. They know what they had to do. But mostly, you are loved by me. Only a few people can say that they've been truly loved in their life, and you are one of those few.

. .

Once he was done, I was still crying. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't see. I couldn't do much of anything but listen to my pitiful sobs.

"Don't leave me," Percy cried into my shoulder, trailing his lips along my jaw. Percy never cried. "Please."

I spoke. "I won't."

I held onto him like he was my lifeline.

. .

Leave.

Leave now, and do not return.

. .

Percy's hands held mine, the one with the deathline in it. He gasped as it unfurled and the pills were shown. And then he began to dig a hole in the dirt, not too deep yet not too shallow. Cupping my hand, we set the pills inside of there, and then he buried them in soil. Once they were completely covered, he pressed another kiss to my cheek. It was still damp. "I love you," he said.

It was true.

The voices and the faces... I vanished into my head for a quick second, searching for them. But they had left. Or perhaps I had left them. All that mattered now was that I was alive and safe and well, and that Percy's hand was in mine, and together, we could face anything. He would fight off my own monsters, because I needed help.

He hugged me. _Me_. Not just some person who was trying to die off, but someone who was an actual person. Someone with a conscience and real thoughts. Someone who could make decisions but some times needed that extra help. And he was that help. He wasn't prejudiced or biased because of his friendship and love for me. He was just a good person. He was going to help me. He promised.

He helped me stand up. The note in his hand dropped to the ground and he walked with me inside. At the last moment before the door to the outside closed, I turned around.

My suicide note was still there. It said a few words, but it had started off with the most simple of goodbyes. _I'm sorry_. Two words full of final. Those two words meant that everything was over, and that you showed regret.

The sky let loose its own tears.

And the note was dampened.

. .

My lifeguard had finally jumped in to save me.

.

I was alive and well on the shore.

. .

The parachute opened up all of a sudden.

.

I was yanked upward and gently carried to the ground.

. .

The rabbit hole wasn't that much of a fall.

.

I stood up, brushed off the dirt, and wiped away the bad thoughts.

. .

There was more of me still here.

.

_It was only the beginning._

. .


End file.
